Blog

6. The Pain

Hi, all!

I’ve noticed, in e-mails I receive, that most of you girls are concerned about the pain involved in losing virginity. Some girls are very frightened. There are, also, a significant number of boys with virgin girlfriends, concerned about hurting their partner whilst making love for the first time.

It’s very natural to be afraid of doing something new. You don’t have to lose your virginity, but it is the only way to start your adult sexual life. As I said before, it has to be your own decision, based on your individual needs and personal development. Do it in your own time. The first sexual experience is not the same for everybody. It can look very dramatic with bleeding and all, but not all girls experience pain during first-time lovemaking.

I hope that you all know what the hymen is, but I will tell you anyway. The hymen is a membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening. It forms part of the vulva, or external genitalia.

They can be widely different from girl to girl. Their shape and elasticity can vary, so that’s one of the reasons first time sex is so different, for most girls. Unfortunately you can’t know how it will be for you - until you actually try it. So when you know you’re ready and you’re contemplating losing your virginity, this is how you can prepare yourself:

I know it’s hard, but try to relax. I’m sure the experience can be unpleasant, if there’s unnecessary tension, so make sure you have a caring and loving partner. Get him to use a condom, together with a water-based lubricant, as oil-based lubricants can damage the condom.

Make sure that you are in control of the whole penetration process. Find a comfortable position, which suits you both. You could be on top, for instance, or on your knees.

So! Basically, these are three things you can do, to reduce discomfort – which may, or may not be, relevant to you, during your first full sexual experience. Good luck - and I hope you enjoy it!

Sincerely Yours,

Lisa